Cherished? Sexually Desired? Loved?

As a woman, have you thought about what you need to see in your man’s eyes when he looks at you?  And depending on what you see, are you happy?  pissed off? sad?  puzzled?

I have a friend who is dating a great guy – on paper.  He’s smart, down-to-earth, eh, not so funny,  but really smart, hardworking and ambitious.  He has told her “I love you”,  has planned lovely romantic dates.  Yet, she doesn’t see devotion in his eyes.  She doesn’t feel she’s the most important person in/aspect of his life.

Is that worth ending a relationship over?  I think she has a great guy — deal with it.  Then I see the facebook post about 92 year old man singing to his 93 year old wife (who is in hospice) and I fiercely want this for her!

I want it for myself.

This man may have sexually desired his wife (Ihope) but, according to this video, his love is cherishing.  He is devoted to her and his actions are focused on letting her know 1) he is by her side and 2)  she is loved.  To be seen fully yet loved unconditionally.   Would you be able to do this?

To  feel so comforted and loved for no reason other than I am me.    To love someone because he’s him.  To think I can cherish someone for the rest of our lives.

verb: cherish; 3rd person present: cherishes; past tense: cherished; past participle: cherished; gerund or present participle: cherishing
  1. protect and care for (someone) lovingly.
    “he cared for me beyond measure and cherished me in his heart”
    synonyms: adore, hold dear, love, dote on, be devoted to, revere, esteem, admire; More

    think the world of, set great store by, hold in high esteem;
    care for, tend to, look after, protect, preserve, keep safe
    “a woman he could cherish”
    • hold (something) dear.
      “I cherish the letters she wrote”
      synonyms: treasure, prize, value highly, hold dear

      “I cherish her letters”

Which do you think you need in your life?  To be Desired? To be Cherished? What do you think you need or you

How does that equal love to you?  Or does it?




Dating and guns … oh my

I’m dating…..  I bought a gun.

I know, I know these statements should not be related.  Or if they are, I should seek counseling!    In my mind, in my world, they are very related — emotionally.

Dating is so different in my 50’s — there’s a lot ‘they’ don’t tell you about dating in  your 50’s.  I’ll get to that in a moment.

Having a gun is so different, so foreign.  Both of these activities have me out of my comfort zone and both of them are borne out of accepting my age and where I am in my life.

Ok, dating.  I can’t put the gun under my pillow when I have overnight guests but I also don’t have a nightstand.  What to do?  Thankfully that chat hasn’t happened yet.  Matter-of-fact, at this point, I’m weeding out men based on their opinions on gun ownership.  There are A LOT of men online who are staunchly anti-gun and/or very restrictive gun control, especially in California.  Hard to wink at someone when he’s vehemently opposed to guns and I have one staring at me every night when I go to sleep.  Is this similar to a man who smokes weed every night and I’m not comfortable with that?

The gun — which is awesome! — was a decision that came upon me recently.    We live in a world of crazy, even more crazy in Los Angeles.  Heaven forbid, I’m in a ‘him or me’ situation.

One day, I realized that if that happens, I want ‘me’ to come out standing.  It wasn’t an easy decision to admit that I’d take a life if I had to but as I get older, I’m more vulnerable.  I’d like to pretend, since I’m a big woman,  that I can take care of myself in most situations.  Will that be true when I’m 65?

I was attacked at knifepoint when I was 25.   Not once did I think of getting a gun at that age.  Now I no longer have that youthful energy or anger. Could I fight off an attacker?  I don’t know and I’m not sure I want to find out.

I needed ‘self-defense viagra’.

I bought a beautiful gun (really?  who am I right now???), named her Mae West, and practice ALOT for muscle memory.  I don’t want that worst case scenario but if it happens, I want to be ready.

A long winded way of saying I’d like a partner in my life …. but I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.  Hell, I might be the shooter of the family!!




Ah, HELLO BLOG You old friend

Life’s been crazy the past 8 months (longer!) and I’ve missed capturing the highlights of life in this blog.

Oh boy, a lot of travel, a lot of delicious food and A LOT of wine has been opened.  And my memory sucks — which may or may not be related to the wine or age.  Let’s see if I can revisit some of those memories over the next few weeks.

Just returned from a gorgeous weekend in Washington DC for Cherry Blossom Festival.  There are no words that capture the beauty of these trees.  More later.

Wine Wednesday – KUKKULA

Wine Wednesday and I decided to continue my Kukkula trend.  I love Kukkula’s wines and really love that the vineyard is an easy drive from Los Angeles.

In honor of Twitter’s IPO, presenting Kukkula’s I.P.O. wine.  Such a simple drinking wine with subtle complexity.  71% Cabernet Sauvignon, 18% Zinfandel and 11% Syrah.

Kukkula I.P.O
Kukkula I.P.O

C’mon, of course I was going to love it!  Deep rich purple, not quite inky.  I tasted cherries with an earthiness I like.   Hmmm, dirt!

Kukkula I.P.O.
Kukkula I.P.O.


It wasn’t as seductive as Lothario but I wasn’t looking to be seduced tonight.  I wanted to be quietly entertained.  Some times we want a Lothario; some times we want Homer Simpson.  Kukkula’s I.P.O. satisfied all my low-key needs.

#16 Chanel East/West Flap

As I went through the closet, I found several Chanel East/West Flap in hiding.   These lovelies are from 2005 and 2006 — some of the best years of Chanel quality.

Chanel East/West Flap
Chanel East/West Flap in Red Lambskin
Chanel East/West Flap
Chanel East/West Flap in Red Lambskin
Chanel East/West
2005 Chanel East/West Flap in Red Lambskin

Such a great bag but its shoulder strap is too short or it’s better for a shorter petite person. I doubt if this is why Chanel discontinued the East/West Flap but I’m curious as to why it’s discontinued.

Isn’t it gorgeous?