Sometimes Nothing is All You Need to Do

May 20th, 2012

Midlife has taught me that sometimes Nothing is all  I need to do.  It wasn’t always like that — in my 20’s and 30’s I felt compelled to DO something.

Fix myself – fix my boyfriend, get a new job, get promoted, buy a house, buy a car, train for an athletic event (hello LA Marathon!), etc.  The list was endless and I — along with most of us — was a proverbial hamster on the wheel.  Constantly doing and not getting anywhere.

Yet. today I realized how changed I am, how midlife has taught me that I don’t need to DO.

My friend who lost her Pug, Lucy, finally sat in my office to tell me the sad tragic story of how Lucy died.    We both had work to do but in that moment, there was nothing I wanted to do other than listen.    There was nothing I could say, nothing I could do and I didn’t try.

I sat, I listened, I cried.    Nothing can relieve the raw pain of loss … but a friend who is willing to be there might offer some comfort and love.

At this point in my life, I no longer feel inadequate because I didn’t do something big, something great, didn’t try to make her feel better or minimize her loss.

No, I feel grateful that I am finally mature enough to know that being fully present for her and supporting her in her grief was the perfect action to do.

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